NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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