Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
