I got chris browned last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
