Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
