I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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