I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
