if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
