ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he thought i was a dude.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
