I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
