Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
