someone get that fucking seahorse.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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