The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize