you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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