your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Randomize
