She's JV to your varsity
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
