If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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