Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he puts the penis in happiness.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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