Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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