My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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