yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize