All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
