i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
