babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
