Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
