Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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