ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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