they need to just BURY HIM!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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