I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
