did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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