I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Welp...herpes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
