If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
