cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
