Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
