I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
