I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize