I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
