Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
