Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
