i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize