My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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