You're my little dorito
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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