Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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