what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
