Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
