i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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