It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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