Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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