Who did Billy Mays play for?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
