She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
