I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
