Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
