What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
