that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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