We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
