Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
