I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
