my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
