well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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