allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
