at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
