My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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