oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
