i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
