just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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