What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
