I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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